<--jdub has quit (it's time to try the monkeybars)

---pumpkins is now known as XFire

-->jdub has joined #sh

<spiv>It's jdub ping-pong night!

*XFire serves

*spiv returns

*XFire backhands

*spiv slices off the half-volley

*XFire throws himself across the table to return

*in calls out

*spiv strings together random terms and hope they make sense :)

<--jdub has quit (it's time to try the monkeybars)

*in calls for a new jdub

<spiv>Hehe.

-->jdub has joined #sh

*spiv readies himself for the next rally

*XFire serves

*hypatia goes to sleep.

*spiv dives to his side and returns the serve

*spiv sweeps hypatia off the ping-pong table

*hypatia gets woekn up.

*XFire gently returns

*hypatia goes craaazzzzyyyy.

*hypatia eats the new jdub.

*spiv lobs the jdub back over the net.

*in tut-tuts about people taking their pills

*hypatia eats in.

*XFire backhands

<XFire>[and misses the table altogether]

*spiv scores! ;)

<spiv>XFire: Well of course! You were backhanding hypatia for the awful "eats in" pun, weren't you? :)

*hypatia gets backhanded.

*hypatia becomes the table, thus making XFire a liar.

<in>"There's someone else inside of me [help! let me out1]."

*in quotes John Denver

*spiv stuffs hypatia in his back pocket, and prepares to serve the new jdub again.

*hypatia spits out the rubbery bits of in.

*hypatia bites spiv's bum.

*in didn't know that it had prosthetics

<spiv>hypatia: How? I'm playing in those ridiculously tight tennis shorts -- you shouldn't have room to move!

*hypatia is special.

*spiv carefully inspects his garments

*hypatia points out bite-hole in garments.

*hypatia bites her way out to freedom!

*spiv throws the bat on the table, and has a tantrum at in, the acting umpire.

*hypatia vomits up the rest of in.

<in>No, the ball was not on the line

*in declares that hypatia is now the ball

<spiv>in: I distinctly saw the jdub stick a foot on that line!!!

*hypatia vomits on the line.

*hypatia waits to be served.

*XFire slips on the line

<in>hypatia _is_ on the line (or some of her) - your point

*hypatia laughs at XFire.

*spiv serves, then quickly pulls the table away, making XFire's return a difficult problem.

<hypatia>Hey! I'm still the table!

---You are now known as table

<spiv>hypatia: And your arms were very handy to yank on.

*in wonders how the ball can go out now??

<spiv>table: Go sit next to table64 like a good piece of furniture.

*table smiles in satisfaction

---You are now known as tableball

*spiv pulls out a can of kerosene and a lighter, and approaches the tableball...

*tableball serves self for match point

*in declares that the ball is now always in, so all that's left to do now is hit it a lot

*tableball hits in a lot.

<tableball>in is always in too!

*spiv decides to get a new bat. One with spikes.

*in runs away and hides behind XFire

*tableball gets there first.

---You are now known as spikybat

*spikybat pummels in.

<spikybat>And in is still in.

*spikybat serves in to spiv.

---in is now known as hypatia

*spiv pants with exhaustion.

*spikybat calls on NickServ to defend her true name...

<spiv>Damn ping-pong games... they always get sow frantic.

*hypatia giggles

<spiv>s/sow/so/

<--hypatia has quit (Killed (NickServ (This nick is reserved by another user)))

<XFire>haha

<XFire>cruel!

<spikybat>Heheheh.

-->Xout has joined #sh

<spiv>Alright, who killed the umpire?

*spikybat whacks Xout.

<Xout>Hey, no fair!

*XFire points at nickserv

*spikybat claims it was fair.

---Xout is now known as in

*spiv asks for a ruling.

<spikybat>in: wanna fight? Hih? Hih?

<in>No, it wasn't fair!

*spikybat is a spikybat after all.

<spiv>Or a ruler. 30cm wooden standard school issue would do.

<spikybat>s/Hih/Huh/

*in arms up

*spiv thinks a 30cm wooden standard school issue head-of-state would be interesting.

*spikybat whirls.

---You are now known as spikywhirl

*spikywhirl spikywhirls in!

*in produces a red button, which it uncovers and presses.

*in runs like hell

<spiv>Me produces a hole from his pocket, attaches it to the wall, and jumps through.

*spikywhirl runs like hell^2 after in.

*in ducks behind spiv as the whining sound becomes deafening

*spikywhirl whirls through spiv.

*spiv paints a door on the brick wall, opens it, walks through, and closes it...

*spikywhirl has exposed cowering in!

*in dives just as the ICBM lands and obliterates the area, including spikywhile

*spiv waits for the inevitable

<in>What was that about fair?

*spikywhirl is oblierated.

<spikywhirl>[Time passes.]

*spikywhirl is resurrected.

*in feels remorseful - is this tragic?

*spikywhirl is bigger and better than even.

---ChanServ has changed the topic to: <Styx> Quoth the raven, /ignore || Nuclear jdub ping-pong night

<spikywhirl>Also, more sexy.

*in begins to change his ways - is this a moral transformation?

*spikywhirl changes in's ways to more sliced ways for him.

<--Jaq has quit (saberhagen.openprojects.net simak.openprojects.net)

<--jdub has quit (saberhagen.openprojects.net simak.openprojects.net)

*spikywhirl notices the ball has been lost again.

*in patches the bits back on - is it a zombie?

*spikywhirl opnes door.

*spikywhirl chases spiv through door.

*spikywhirl finds spiv in closet.

*spikywhirl hauls spic out of closet.

*in closes the door and erases it

<in>damn, too slow!

*spiv laughs as spikywhirl plays with the spiv decoy mannequin.

<spikywhirl>in: That was you escape route!

*in sits down and thinks

*spikywhirl roars.

*in recomends stepsils

*spikywhirl casts voodoo magic on mannequin.

*spiv is happily floating in limbo.

*spikywhirl pokes pin in mannequin.

*spiv dodges.

*in sidles away quietly to watch from a distance

*spikywhirl sets fire to mannequin.

<in>"Dodge this!"

*spiv is in a happy, you-can't-burn-me-here limbo place :)

*spikywhirl whirls briefly at in, just to show him who's boss.

*spikywhirl casts Lower Fire Resistance on mannequin.

---in is now known as dervish

*dervish no longer fears the whirl

*spikywhirl whirls at dervish.

*dervish whirls back

*spiv hugs his stash of "Get Deus Ex Machina Free" cards.

*spikywhirl points out that dervishes dervish, they don't whirl.

*dervish points out that this one just did - so there ;P

*spikywhirl laughs at devious "Deus Ex" card forgery scheme.

*dervish goes on whirling, just to prove the point

*spikywhirl calls police to arrest forging spiv!

<dervish>That's what we do after all

<spikywhirl>Mwahahaha.

*spikywhirl whirls in a way onlya whirl can.

-->Jaq has joined #sh

-->jdub has joined #sh

*spikywhirl watches as spiv is dragged away by the cops.

*dervish thinks that music is required!

*spiv trades in a card for a team of heavy-artillery troops that teleports next to spikwhirl.

*dervish starts whirling to the music

<--jdub has left #sh

*spiv watches as mannequin #2 is dragged away.

*spikywhirl whirls at team.

<--Jaq has quit ("Bed? Bed is for sleepy people! Let's get a kebab and go to a disco!")

*spikywhirl successfully rolls Mass Kill Whirl and kills everyone.

*spikywhirl goes to bed.

*dervish watches as spikywhirl decimates the troops

-->jdub has joined #sh

---You are now known as hypatia

<dervish>We missed the ball again

*spiv catches the new-new-new-new jdub.

*spiv tethers him to the table.

*dervish waves goodnight to hypatia

<jdub>yoyo!

<spiv>That's it!

---dervish is now known as in

*spiv yoyos the new jdub ball that is now on a string.

<spiv>Aah. My life is complete.

*hypatia waves night to dervish.

*in wishes it were that easy to please... wait, it is

-->Jaq has joined #sh

---ChanServ has changed the topic to: <Styx> Quoth the raven, /ignore || Dervishes don't whirl, they dervish, dammit!

<spiv>jdub: How's things? Life's been a bit hectic in here...

<jdub>spiv: Okay. Hectic?

*hypatia will put up log at some point.

*in grins

---ChanServ has changed the topic to: <Styx> Quoth the raven, /ignore || Nuclear jdub ping-pong night: Final score spiv 3, XFire 1, hypatia -17 :)

<hypatia>I whirled everyone!

<spiv>(I'm pretending in really is the umpire :)

<spiv>hypatia: Yes, but that scores *negative* points.

*hypatia wonders what she has to do to impress around here.

*in thinks that the troops look impressed

<Jaq>wtf?

<spiv>Jaq: Um.... I'm not sure I am able to fully explain :)

<Jaq>i think i can.

<Jaq>NUTBALLS.

*in suddenly become really interested in something a long way off, in the other direction

<Jaq> _   _ _   _ _____ ____    _    _     _     ____  
<Jaq>| \ | | | | |_   _| __ )  / \  | |   | |   / ___| 
<Jaq>|  \| | | | | | | |  _ \ / _ \ | |   | |   \___ \ 
<Jaq>| |\  | |_| | | | | |_) / ___ \| |___| |___ ___) |
<Jaq>|_| \_|\___/  |_| |____/_/   \_\_____|_____|____/ 

<spiv>"Tune in next week for Cryogenic XFire Hockey Day!"

<Jaq>i hope you all have monospaced irc fonts.

<jdub>Jaq: Naturally!

<spiv>:)

<in>but of course

<XFire>jaq: I sure as hell hope so.